Reminiscent
by Joel182
Summary: One mistake too many leads to heart ache. The thoughts on HBK's retirement. SLASH warning... a little bit slash-y. :D Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the names in this story. All rights go to the WWE. I only own the plot. **

**This is set in the time period leading up to HBK's retirement speech on RAW. I don't about everyone else, but I cried like a baby when he left. I'm crying even more right now. T_T Also, the story is written in his POV and this kayfabe is actually real life in a sense. LOL Enjoy :D**

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Not too often does someone make the same mistake twice. I am no different. After missing in action for close to five years, I came back to headline the greatest show of them all facing the undefeated Undertaker. With me in the picture, I knew this match was going to turn out five stars. Mark knew it too. When the event came around, I descended from "heaven" clad in white, while Undertaker came from the "pits of hell" in mourning colors. I gave it my all. I did not hold back. It was a sure fire win. And then I took to the top turnbuckle one last time. I had to do it. I had to do a Moon-Sault to seal the deal. I just had to. But my mind was telling me otherwise. I saw Mark stirring after the blow I delivered. I saw him getting to his feet. I knew beforehand that he was already awake, and I could even see how it would have played out. But I dived in anyways, and then as expected, he caught me. And that was it.

I vaguely recall the horrendous sound of that toll bell ringing, and the lightning going off in the background. It was stripping my soul bare. It couldn't end like this. I didn't come so far to have it end like this. I didn't want it to end like this.

For that reason, I could blame my standing here in this ring right now - saying words I never ever thought I'd have to say - on that ego. That "I didn't want it to end like this" ego. I could even blame my wife Rebecca for constantly blackmailing me with lonely tears. I could blame my kids for missing their father dearly. I could put it all on my doctor for telling me I only had a few more matches left in me before I would be rendered a cripple. I could even blame Mark for accepting in the first place. Whatever I chose to blame was useless because it all boiled down to me being so wrapped up in my character's desire to beat The Undertaker that I discarded a friendship, discarded my doctor's warning, and discarded my family all for the sake of one more match.

One more chance to show the world how great the Heart Break Kid, the Showstopper, Mr. Wrestlemaina is. It wasn't like I had anything to prove, but I just felt like I had to. I had to prove it to everyone – fans or not – that I was Shawn Michaels. The _great_ Shawn Michaels. And to do that, I had to cement my legacy. I had to beat The Undertaker. When I asked Mark for a rematch, he constantly refused it. He didn't want to take any part in it. Then he became World Heavyweight Champion and I saw my chance. At Royal Rumble I was going to win the thirty man match and go on to face him yet again – and this time I would win and become Champion at the same time. I went into Royal Rumble, and lost. I tried to qualify for Elimination Chamber, and failed. And then I cut ties with DX. I cut ties with being tag champs with my best friend Triple H. And in the process, I cut ties with Hunter altogether. He was belittling me – or so I thought – and his words sounded condescending because he already had all the title shots he wanted. And all I had was this one chance.

When Elimination Chamber came up, I decided to hide myself under the ring before the cage came down for the second time. I knew the Undertaker would defend his title to the end. So I waited. I waited until the number of footsteps decreased. I sprung out, and lucky for me, Undertaker was standing right there. He turned and I kicked him in the jaw. Jericho looked at me in shock, but I just stared at the Dead man. Assuming safety, Chris hurriedly pinned Mark and became champion. On Raw I told Calaway to come out and take his revenge. He did. He agreed to a Wrestelmaina rematch, but if I lost, I would have to leave WWE for good. The same went for him. It was the streak vs. the career. Again that little voice inside begged me to reconsider. Once again I could even see how this might play out. But I ignored it, and accepted.

It was Hunter who first planted that seed of self doubt in my mind. It was when he said "Shawn, are you really going to put years of hard work up against a number?" that I first had that moment of reminisce. I thought – for a split moment – was I really going to give up my career for nothing more than to have a one attached to Undertaker's streak? But then I heard the fans. My music started playing. And I was back in the skin of The Heartbreak Kid. I was invincible. I was unstoppable. I was unbeatable. And I was going to win this match.

We traded massive blows to start. I got right into it without a moment's hesitation. We carried the fight all over the place leaving broken wastelands in our wake. Then it happened again. Maybe it was the blood rush. Maybe it was my long forgotten conscience. Whatever it was, I had an instant where I thought for a second that this match was a stupid idea. I took a short look around to see those 18-0 signs, and those "Good-bye HBK" signs, and I knew that putting my career on this line like this – all because of my need to fuel my ego - was a very stupid idea indeed. But that didn't take away from the fact that Mark was still very much there in the ring, and was still hitting hard. When we locked up for a moment, I could see it on his face. He knew that this idea was idiotic. And his jades had an apologetic look behind them – he was apologizing for being the one to end it all. I slapped him. It was a reflex, and then he came back, and planted my skull into the mat. Those doctor warnings I chose to ignore came piling on immediately. For a second I really couldn't move. I felt paralyzed, alone, and afraid. My family was the first thing to cross my mind once the heavy mask of arrogant HBK finally stripped away. What was Rebecca thinking right now? Was she crying with joy that I was finally coming home? Or was she saddened, like Mark was, that it had to come to this? Streak vs. Career. When that music started playing again and the sound of lightning stung my ears, it immediately dawned on me that I was never coming back to the ring. I stood up to wave my fans goodbye. Backstage I met everyone with pats on the backs, and little hugs and goodbyes. But once I was cradled in the comfort of my wife's arms I knew it was truly over, and I couldn't help but cry a little.

Now here on Raw I'm saying those words I never thought I'd say. When I started this gig I always felt a sense of immortality. I guess reality hit hard after Ric left. I knew one day it would come to an end. Mid-speech, Mark comes out clad in his Undertaker gear. I recalled seeing him backstage after WM26, but we had shared nothing more than a glance. Now he stares deadpan at me, and I feel a sense of anxiety. He tips his hat and vanishes with the mist. It's iconic, and probably a gesture I will never forget. The crowd soon chants my character's name, but no bitterness if felt towards that. Instead, I utter those words I don't think I will ever be able to recover from: "Ladies and Gentlemen. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building." The crowd erupts into a series of chants, thank yous and tears. I held back a lot for the sake of saving face – HBK would never break down into tears. I walk slowly up the ramp. My legs feel like lead, but I press on. And then right when I was turning to leave for good, Hunter comes up from behind and hugs me. For more years than I could count I really loved Hunter. However, we found significant others, and that was that. But it didn't stop me from planting one last kiss on his cheek. It didn't stop me from crying in his shoulder. And it didn't stop him from telling me that he loves me.

**THE END**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE NAMES USED IN THIS STORY. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE WWE. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. ENJOY! XD**

**Mark's POV about the events leading up to HBK's retirement. **

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Wrestelmaina 25 was a match. It was simply two colossal figures going neck to neck. A brawl between two men. Wrestlemaina 26 was not that kind of match. It was a fight between alter egos'. A fight between the arrogant Heart Break Kid and the dead man Undertaker.

Upon hearing that Shawn Michaels was to be my opponent at Wrestlemaina 25, I was in one term excited. The two of us had never traded blows on the grandest stage of them all, and we both swore to make it a memorable occasion. However, I had to win. For Shawn, his career speaks for itself. He _is _Mr. Wrestelmaina. However, I am the Phenom, and my streak represented my life line. For that reason, I was not going to hand it over to Shawn Michaels.

At the match, we fought tooth and nail. However, no matter how much he put forward, it was not enough. He lost. And I was now 17-0. I expected the win, because I had set out to do just that. I did not expect Shawn to take the loss personally. He came after me with no remorse. Week in and week out I denied his pleas for a rematch. It wasn't out of cowardice, or just pure disrespect that I rejected his rematch requests. It was simply because I wanted to spare Shawn Michaels another loss on the stage he owned. However, his alter ego would not hear of it. The Michaels I knew would never discard everything that made him, and everything he had just to face my character once more in the ring. However, HBK had taken over and Shawn did just that. After many failed attempts, he finally decided to enter the Royal Rumble, win it and then officially challenge me. He lost. He attempted to qualify for Elimination Chamber, but Orton pinned him after he made the mistake of just having to get up his way – the HBK way.

I thought that was it. I thought he would give up, and attempt to reconcile with the fact that he lost like a man and would hold his head high. He did the opposite. After the qualifying matches, Shawn dropped his tag team belts to the make shift team of Miz and Big Show. He then spat in the face of the man he held closer to his heart than anyone else. After all was said and done, Shawn did the unthinkable. He cost me my world title. With this, I could not avoid a rematch with him. I could not save his dignity. However, admittedly, I gave into the darkness that is my character, and before I could rethink, I pitted the match to be a Streak vs. Career match. I put my life line and my career on the line against a man who was hell bent on destroying me. When the moment of hesitation overcame me, Shawn had already accepted.

Wrestlemaina 26 was a death sentence. We fought like blood thirsty animals. We tore up everything in sight. We gave it our all. Shawn came out cloaked in the skin of HBK, and for that reason I fought like the Undertaker. Near the end of the match – once a second of clarity hit me - I took the time to look around at the seventy two plus thousand fans looking back and screaming at us. The signs were there. All those 18-0, and "Goodbye HBK" signs were staring right at us. When I turned to Shawn, I spotted that genuine look of shock that came from realization cross his tea green eyes. It was then I knew that we both made the biggest mistake of our lives. He lounged forward a few seconds later and I locked up with him. I could not shake the sorrowful look on my face. I knew I was no longer fighting Shawn Michaels. I was fighting his ego. And when he realized that I had come to deduce such a fact, he slapped me across the face. I charged forward, pile drove him into the ground, and listened to the loud hums of my theme song. I was too conflicted to linger in the ring, so I high tailed it to the backstage area.

Once there I thought a lot. Was it all necessary? Was this rematch really necessary? I blamed a lot of things – mostly myself for not pulling Shawn one side and knocking some sense into him when I had the chance. I blamed my giving into the mindset of my character. I even blamed the fact that I won at WM25. Maybe I should have just lost there. Maybe I should have just lost tonight. Unlike Shawn, I didn't have much ties to the company, so why did I try so hard to win? If I really wanted to preserve the man's dignity the right thing to do would have been simply losing. The noises and series of clapping alerted me instantly to the hallway outside the locker room. When I looked up at the crowd that had formed, I spotted Michaels. He looked back at me, and I knew it was over. Mr. Wrestlemaina was no longer a part of the WWE.

RAW came on and closed with a farewell speech from Shawn. He was shedding a few tears, but it was obvious that he was holding back on the urge to break down in the middle of the ring. Leaving then and there was eating away at him. Unable to stand by, I walked out uninvited, but stayed on the ramp cloaked by white fog. Was I going to say anything? Should I grab a microphone and give a short speech? What would Undertaker do? After exchanging a long stare, I decided to simply tip my hat down in Old Western gesture, and vanish backstage under the blanket of the mist. I held back on the sadness for the sake of saving face. The Deadman never shed tears after all. But it was when the sound of those cowboy boots rapped away on the distant floor, lessening in volume by the second, that I found the strength needed to shed the tears as Mark Calaway.

THE END


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE NAMES USED IN THIS STORY. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE WWE. I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. ENJOY! XD**

**This is Hunter's POV about the events leading up to HBK's retirement. **

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If this was a joke, I wasn't laughing. After my win at Wrestlemaina 25 I opted to take Shawn out with me to hit a few parties. It was more to get his mind of the loss than anything else. It worked – or so I thought.

I knew HBK since I first started out in the WWE. At first, I thought of him as a brother, but just a few years in and that view changed drastically morphing into something close to love. Cowardice stayed me away from delving deeper into the feeling and soon I got straddled with marriage and kids. Shawn surprisingly took the turn of events in stride. He went back on the dating scene and found his wife whom he shares two kids with. We parted on good terms without ever having to say a word on the matter to each other.

Shawn is the embodiment of sportsmanship, so to see him go out of his way for a rematch against a man who held pride in high regards was personally shocking. Week in and week out Shawn attacked Mark Calaway hounding him with requests for a rematch. He even dug so low as to say that Mark's victory was a fluke. Surprisingly Mark let the verbal slap slide. When Royal Rumble came along, I was not expecting Shawn to be the one to eliminate me. Maybe it was my own ego, but I felt a tinge of disgust possibly even hate at the fact that he could not just _courteously_ step down. After he got eliminated, I regretted thinking that he should ever have to halt his career for the sake of anyone else's. For the sake of mine.

After he lost at the qualifying match for Elimination Chamber, Shawn was completely consumed in anger and the need to feed his ego. He _had _to have a rematch. He discarded our tag champion belts in the blink of an eye and even attacked Smack Down's Teddy Long right after. I tried to pacify him, but the man who glared back at me with a heavy scowl on his face and venom lacing his tongue was not the same man I had been secretly in love with for so many years. He pulled away and left. It pained my heart even more at the fact that he was now so far gone that he was discarding everything just for one more match.

In that sense, I went to Vince. I pleaded that he get Mark to just agree to the match already and just end Shawn's train wreck actions. Vince could offer no help. If Mark didn't want the rematch, then Shawn wasn't getting it. Knowing Shawn to be a bright person and keen on intricate things, I expected him to be able to see what he was becoming, and stop himself before he went on even further. No one expected him to lie in wait and super kick the Undertaker out of his title reign at Elimination Chamber. It was like a bad dream. Or a bad joke. But whatever it was, it did not feel anything close to real. The following RAW, Shawn confronted the Undertaker again. However, he did not confront the same old Mark Calaway. The Mark I knew would have refused such a challenge as always. However, like Shawn, Mark had already given into the deceptive ease of his character. And with that, a Streak vs. Career match was set for Wrestlemaina 26.

At the show, after failing to talk to Shawn beforehand, I finally caught him in his locker room preparing for the match. I asked him to reconsider. I told him to really think about what it was he could end up losing. What it was he was putting on the line. When all else failed, I pulled out the emotional attachment and begged him to at least – if for no one else – withdraw for me. Looking back, it was probably what pushed him away. He told me I was nothing to him, so why did I think for a second that he would do anything for me? He told me that a thirteen time world champion could never understand what he was going through. And he shoved me out the door.

It was then that I sat down and rethought everything. For years we were friends, but right now it seemed that simply being that was not enough for Shawn to weigh his options. That being the case, maybe I should have just manned up all those years ago and told him how I felt. Had I known Shawn would have come to this, I would have ensured that he got more chances out in the ring. I wouldn't have been so damn selfish. I shouldn't have been so damn selfish. If he had all those title reigns, and more accomplishments on his record then he wouldn't have felt the insatiable need to put his career on the line. To prove himself worthy of the title Mr. Wrestlemaina.

As I watched HBK and Undertaker tear each other apart, I realized that had I tried harder to be something more to him then maybe he would have been given more incentive to stay. If he hadn't gotten married, if I hadn't gotten married, then he would have stayed on for me. For us. But he had a family he could go home to. In that respect, retirement was the best option. I had to stop for a while when I realized that I honestly thought Shawn was going to lose. Where was the confidence I was supposed to have in him? Why was I suddenly so pessimistic? I watched the answers from the comfort of the locker room TV. My eyes spotted the camera view of the massive crowd. All those 18-0 and "Goodbye HBK" signs were littering the arena. It was like someone was flashing a well written script in front of my face. And I was desperately trying to ignore it. Shawn slapped the Undertaker, and a few seconds later it was over. The Dead man had his streak. And Shawn had nothing. Backstage, when I heard the massive crowd approaching with Shawn in the center, I opted to hide away. Countless emotions were clashing around and in the end I couldn't go out and face him there. Looking over my shoulder I noticed that Mark felt the same way too.

RAW closed with Shawn Michaels speaking to the crowd. I was still in the back room, dressed and ready to leave. I had not spoken to Shawn since his match at Wrestlemaina 26. His last match. Stephanie had called to say she was waiting in the car. I told her I would be right over. It was then that Shawn uttered those words I thought I'd never hear him say. And it dawned on me that from this day onward, I would walk into RAW and never see him again. This was truly the last time I would see Shawn Michaels. As soon as I came to the conclusion, I bolted it to the ring. I had only gotten to the top of the ramp, but he was already there waving at the fans. My body moved light years ahead of my mind. I just wanted to hold him. And I did. He gave me a surprise kiss on the cheek as an act of friendship no doubt. But I couldn't leave it there. So in front of all those viewers, I held his face in my hands - taking in the feel of his skin under my fingertips - leaned in close and told him something I knew I should have said all those years ago. And I nearly broke down when he simply whispered "Me too."

THE END


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